Mar
09

Summer poem by sean

Filed Under (General News) by on 09-03-2013 and tagged

The pungent aroma of daffodils invades my nostrils as I fall into adeep field of flowers.

I can see children squirting each other with refreshing water as they laugh with excitement.

I can her the beautiful birds sing as they glide gracefully  throught he air.

I can taste the icey refreshment of cool lemonade slip into my  dry mouth.

I can feel  the scorching sun burning down on me as i relax in my new comfy armchair.

 



7 Responses to “Summer poem by sean”

  1.   Mrs Duxbury Says:
      March 9th, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    Sean this poem has made me so proud of you! Well done for putting it on the blog for the world to enjoy too. I love your phrase ‘..pungent aroma of daffodils invades my nostrils’. Well doen for trying to use the vocabulary we are learning in class.
    What do you notice about your sentence openers Sean? I wonder what other sentence openers you could use? Perhaps you could rewrite this and show my how you can uplevel those sentence openers.

    Reply

  2.   Charlotte W Says:
      March 10th, 2013 at 10:26 am

    Dear Sean, I like how you have used our ideas from the arican safari and turned it into a poem! I lie your phrase ‘…children squirting each other with refreshing water as they laugh with excitement.’ Next time, try using different openers, using a carp pie!

    Reply

  3.   Julia Says:
      March 10th, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Dear Sean,
    I really enjoyed reading your poem. I really like how you have used so many describing words in yoiur poem such as ‘pungent aroma’ I also really like your sentance ‘…I can feel the scorching sun burning down on me as I relax in my new comfy armchair..’ But would an armchair be outside, or are you sitting inside next to a window and can feel the sun on your back? Well done Sean I really enjoyed reading this poem. Keep writing stories because they are AMAZING!
    From Julia

    Reply

  4.   Diya Says:
      March 11th, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    Dear Sean,
    I like your poem because you have used ideas from the arican safari Well done. I like your wow word ‘pungent aroma’. I like how you have used your senses in your poem. I like this sentence ‘I can taste the icey refreshment of cool lemonade slip into my dry mouth’ beacuse I can really imaganin the lemonade going down your throat. Well done Saen and keep up the great work!
    From Tulsi

    Reply

  5.   Tegan S Says:
      March 14th, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    SEAN THIS IS AMAZING! I love ‘The pungent aroma of daffodils invades my nostrils…’ because you have magpied the sentences we thought of in class and put them into your own words to make a poem.

    Tegan
    http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

    Reply

  6.   Kenzie Says:
      April 12th, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    Sean this is Shamazing! You have worked so hard and,you have made Mrs Duxbury so proud. This is a great poem. I like how you have used the word pungent aroma, you have got this idea from African Safari. Well Done Sean.

    Frm your friend Kenzie :) :) ;) p:so keep up the FANTASTIC work!!

    Reply

  7.   Nathan M Says:
      May 10th, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    Dear Sean, this is a wonderful piece of work and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. But, I don’t think daffodils would smell punjent.
    From Nathan M :) ;)

    Reply

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