6D 2012 – 2013
Happy learners blog well
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Oxford Reading Tree
Louis is a lamb. He is around 3 months old and is very shy. Louis is special because he is a weird colour (turquoise). Because Louis is special people all over the country want to kill him for his wonderful fur to make rugs and carpets. Please help to save Lois.
Your task:
I need you to write a letter to the council to help give Louis a safe and comfortable home so people will not be able to sneak in and try to get his fur at night. Please leave it as a comment. I cannot wait to read what you have come up with!
16 Responses to “Louis is in danger!”
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March 9th, 2013 at 8:32 pm
What a clever idea Tegan. Well done! I cannot wait to see what other people come up with.
March 31st, 2013 at 6:02 pm
Thank you Mrs Duxbury. Please could you do a persuasive letter to the council. I would love to see what you come up with!
Tegan
March 10th, 2013 at 5:24 pm
Dear Tegan
I think that what you are doing to help this young lamb is great and, would write my letter to the council.
March 12th, 2013 at 4:52 pm
This isn’t actually something that is happening to this lamb, and I don’t think any other lambs have this colour fur, but it is something that is happening to other animals like sheep, and elephants. The elephants are being killed for their tusks to make jewellery and whales are being killed for the oil they hold.
Kenzie, I think you could work on your letter and make it a bit more detailed. Maybe write it in a book and then keep editing it until you think it is perfect. Good Luck!
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
March 10th, 2013 at 5:27 pm
Dear council.
I think that it is terrible, people want Louis fur for rugs. This needs to stop NOW! I hope that you take further action on this.
March 31st, 2013 at 6:03 pm
Kenzie please could you edit this and make it at least two paragraphs long. (pretend it is a short write in class).
Tegan
March 12th, 2013 at 7:20 pm
Dear Tegan,
I really like your way of getting people to think about things and what they can do to help. I think this task may help some people in the future. Here is my letter,
Dear Council,
I am writing to let you know that what you are doing to Louis (and all the animals) is wrong. This letter is about how you would feel in his situation because I know you wouldn’t enjoy it and I am sure the sheep won’t either. What have they done to you? I want you to think about this question very carefully and see if you can see what you put these poor animals through.
Just because he is a special sheep it doesn’t mean that you can just shave him to give you all the money. If you did do it what would be in it for him? He’s helping you to give you money but you do not return a favor (Even if he doesn’t want to give you one you make him whether he likes it or not). Your actions are entirely wrong and one day you will see why. Sheep’s like him are rare. Why can’t you see what you put them through. They are petrified with what you do to them. Think about you putting one of your family members, or yourself in there and shaving off their fur so they are cold in winter and the owners get all the money. That isn’t a nice thought. So please think about what you do to those sheep before you do actions you might regret forever.
Yours sincerely,
a 6D member
March 13th, 2013 at 5:02 pm
WOW! Julia I love your introductory paragraph because it tells the reader why you are writing to them (what an opening paragraph should do). I like how you have written it telling them that they couldn’t like it, so why would the sheep like it (I think that is really clever).
Maybe net time try and add some level 5 openers. Such as: Therefor, despite and in addition. I think your letter is great and could therefor persuade the council to STOP CUTTING OFF THEIR FUR! Well done!
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
March 15th, 2013 at 7:54 pm
Dear Teagan,
Thank you for your reply. Thank you for your feedback. I will try to take it on board and improve for next time. You have helped me alot. Thank you for your help.
From Julia
March 17th, 2013 at 6:59 pm
Your welcome Julia, I am glad that I helped!
Thank you for looking back at your feedback (not many people do).
Just a little something:
My name is spelt Tegan not Teagan, but don’t worry!
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
March 13th, 2013 at 5:39 pm
well done tegan it is very persuasive i can tell why you chose turquise
March 14th, 2013 at 5:34 pm
Hi Tyler,
I am very glad you have commented on my work as I have been asking you to all the time. Could you write a persuasive letter about Louis. Please comment again Tyler, and I can’t wait to see you again.
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
March 24th, 2013 at 10:37 am
please adopt louis as he is dangered of being killed. a vast majoraty of people all over would like to kill him because they want to eat it; although very few people want to keep it to ensure that it is safe. as well as his fluffy fur would be benificiatial as that we can make things out of it, such as jumpers, hats, scarves, gloves also cardigans! louis is a shy sheep that is very special , what has he ever done to you?
i hope this persuasive text has the readers rethink !
i kinda changed it a bit lol.
March 26th, 2013 at 8:47 am
Well done Tyler. Your piece of writing was fabulous! I like the opener ‘A vast majority’. You have used some great words, such as, ensure and beneficial.
Some of your spellings are incorrect, so maybe next time type t in word first so all of your spellings will be correct. WELL DONE!
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
P.S
Could you maybe edit and improve this piece of work.
March 31st, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Tyler, at the start of a sentence what do you need?
Please could you try and edit it a little more to make it a little more persuasive!
Tegan
April 12th, 2013 at 5:34 pm
a capital letter i my strength is vocabulary but my weakness is punctuation