6D 2012 – 2013
Happy learners blog well
Click here to read part 1: PART ONE
“Oh no I had forgotten to look if Mr Beckles had won!” As soon as we arrived at the hospital I checked on the hospital computer. He hadn’t lost he’d WON! I rushed into Mr Beckles room, he wasn’t there but mum was. “Where has Mr Beckles gone?” I asked Mum. “dont worry he is in the shower!” mum replied laughing. I grinned back at her. “come here mum… closer … Mr Beckles has won one hundred thousand pounds in the lottery!” Mum looked the happiest she’s ever been in her whole life.
Mr Beckles and the nurse came out of the shower, he looked much better “Mr Beckles…” “yes…”
“You have won the lottery… one hundred thousand pounds!” I yelled.
“You are an amazing little girl you know; and because of that you can have twenty thousand pounds of the prize money!” This was the first tine Mr Beckles and I have had a real conversation.
Today Mr Beckles came to our house. He was now living with us, he was just like the grandad I never had, but had dreamed of. I sleep in my bed, mum sleeps on the sofa and Mr Beckles sleeps in mums bed. I did not go to school that day, because it was Sunday, but mum said I have to go back on Monday (tommorow).
That night mum, Mr Beckles and I watched a film called ‘A sotry worth telling.’ and I decided that was defenatly our new life. I got tired and decided to go to bed, that night I slept amazingly because I was so pleased with everything.
I was walking to school when the man came out of the corner shop and asked if everything was ok. I yelled YES and told him then whole story; knew I would be late for school but I did not care one bit. Mum drove past with Mr Beckles and stopped me, so they picked me up. “Where are you going Mum?” I asked as if I hadn’t done anything wrong. “Mr Beckles and I are going to ASDA, do you want to come?” Mum replied forgetting that I should be at school. “No thanks just take a left and drop me off at school,” I did actually want to go to ASDA but I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about what had happened.
Keep an eye out for PART 3! coming soon!
Tegan
11 Responses to “A story worth telling…Mr Beckles hero Part 2.”
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March 9th, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Another thrilling installment to your great story Tegan and I cannot wait to read the next chapter. You have developed the character of Mr Beckles, making sure that the reader cares about him (perhaps even making them think of their own grandfather). Well done!
I would just like to remind that the first word inside the speech marks should start with a capital letter.
March 12th, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Thank you very much Mrs Duxbury, I am very glad you are enjoying my story Charlotte D at school has read the whole story in my book and so have you, so it is not as exciting because you know what is going to happen next! I will remember next time to put a capital letter for the first letter in speech.
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnpriary.net
March 9th, 2013 at 8:42 pm
Dear Tegan,
You have such an “AMAZING” imagination. Where do you get it from? I really like the part where you have written about Mr Beckles winning the lottery. I wonder where you got the idea from…
Remember to proofread through your work as you will realise some silly mistakes!
From Aamina N
March 12th, 2013 at 5:40 pm
Hi Aamina,
I didn’t get the idea from anything I just made it all up; but I got the name from an old man who goes to my church. I did do a quick proofread but obviously I missed a few things.
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
March 13th, 2013 at 11:12 am
Dear Tegan,
I can’t believe you made that story up without an inspiration. WHAT A VIVID IMAGINATION! I wonder if you know what vivid means?
From Aamina N
March 15th, 2013 at 4:48 pm
Hi Aamina, thank you for looking back at the comments to see your reply!
I think vivid means: good, great or amazing.
I have looked vivid up and it means:
creating, providing a clear picture in your head!
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
March 14th, 2013 at 8:29 pm
Its a brilliant story Tegan, I cant wait to find out what Mr Beckles is going to do with all that money. I would spend the money on a good family holiday. I am so excited to read part three.
March 15th, 2013 at 5:46 pm
Hi Mum!
I am excited about part three too. What was your favourite part of part tow?
Have you read part one?
I would spend the money on….
I would give some to all different charities such as Comic relief, cancer research. I would keep quite a bit so I can buy lots of great furniture for my room, and OF COURSE I would spend the rest on a little puppy to live at my grandmas! (it cant live with me because my mum is allergic to cats and dogs).
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
March 15th, 2013 at 5:59 pm
Tegan have you proof read your writing (comments)?
Yes I have read Part one, part one of the story was very good too.
I like how you think of others, and you would give some money to charity, as lots of different charity need money to help lots of different people, and of course its nice to spend money on what you like.
I am very sorry that I have an allergy to animals.
When will Part three by ready, I CANT WAIT?
March 17th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
Hi Mum,
I did proofread my comment, but I must have missed out some little mistakes such as, I wrote tow instead of two. Thank you for the comment about how I think of others, I am lad that you noticed.
I know it is not your fault that you are allergic to animals! Part three will be ready sometime this week!
Tegan
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
March 29th, 2013 at 8:00 am
Hi Tegan,
I am a trainee teacher who is looking into blogging in primary school classrooms and I have to say, I am mightily impressed with your story. I couldn’t stop reading it, the quality and the imagination (and the humour) reminded me of David Walliams work.
I hope you keep up the good work.
Michaela