Nov
21

A haunted story

Filed Under (General News) by on 21-11-2012 and tagged

Somewhere in the deep dark misty forest,Ben was shivering like a jelly on a plate. His parents were so poor they had to lead him into the forest.’Snap’ Ben spun around as fast as lightning. ‘Crunch'”what was that Ben whispered”. Ben was petrified he wanted to go home. It went darker as the sun set. ‘SNAP, CRUNCH’.

Ben knew he wasnt alone.The noises came closer ben started to run, something was cheasing him he didnt want to stop. Exhausted he stopped the thing had gone, ben was safe now, ARGH jumping from tree to tree was a thing with fluffy fur and pointy ears and razor sharp teeth. Ben froze in shock.

It was a werewolf, the wolf was eleven foot tall with muscles as big as an elephants.The wolf gripped ben and pulled him forward and roared in his face. Ben was frightened, so he punched the wolf as he let out a blood hurdiling howl.

Ben ran for his life as if his heart jumped out of his chest and ran off. The wolf was furious so he ran after ben. ‘snap’ ‘crunch’, ben was hid behind a thick tree but the wolf found him.”OH NO”, “Please dont eat me mr wolf” said ben. The wolf was evil and gripped ben again, and he looked into bens eyes, but all ben could see was two yellow bloodshot eyes gawking back at him. “now its time to eat you up” growled the wolf.

Snap ben was gone forever, the wolf was delighted he licked his lips. A smile grew on his face all you could see was 100 razor sharp teeth, grinning with happiness.The wolf galloped away into the foggy dark mist never to return.

Ten years later he returned back to the forest with an axe man but unfortunetly the axe man chopped off the wolfs head. Now every night the wolf comes back as a ghost with ben, and ben comes back to haunt the wolf (by the way the dad went missing)

BY SEAN



6 Responses to “A haunted story”

  1.   Mrs Duxbury Says:

    Sean, I am so thrilled that you have written this story in the blog. I am so proud of you and your writing and you should be too. Using adjectives in your writing is your target and you have certainly remembered to use them. Just wonderful Sean. Next time remember to use capital letters for peoples names(Ben).

    Reply

  2.   Julia Says:

    Dear Sean,
    Well done! This story, was SO amazing, you had me glued to the screen all the way through. I like it because you have used so many things we have been doing in class such as similies, ‘Ben ran for his life as if his heart jumped out of his chest and ran off.’ I also really like how you have used some ACARP PIE. You have used so many things, and I would say them but I don’t want to bore you reading my comment. Maybe, next time you could use some 3-Ed setances. I love reading your stories Sean, because you build up so much tention.
    From Julia.
    P.S. I wonder what happened to Ben’s dad.

    Reply

  3.   Mr Williams Says:

    What a super piece of writing, Sean.You have used some great vocabulary and I’m pleased to see paragraphs. Have a look at the way to punctuate speech:

    “now it’s time to eat you up” growled the wolf.

    is what you wrote.

    “Now it’s time to eat you up,” growled the wolf.
    or
    “Now it’s time to eat you up!” growled the wolf.

    are correct. Can you see why?

    Reply

  4.   CharlotteW Says:

    Well done Sean! I was literally glued to the screen! I really want to know what happens next! I like the 2A sentence ‘blood hurdling howl.’ You ahve used great adjectives ‘Petrifed, blood shot’ I really like this story! I hope there is going to be a second part…
    Remember to use CAPITAL LETTERS for names and at the start of speech!
    Charlotte.W

    Reply

  5.   CharlotteW Says:

    Well done Sean! I was literally glued to the screen! I really want to know what happens next! I like the 2A sentence ‘blood hurdling howl.’ You have used great adjectives ‘Petrifed, blood shot’ I really like this story! I hope there is going to be a second part…
    Remember to use CAPITAL LETTERS for names and at the start of speech!
    Charlotte.W

    Reply

  6.   Caitlin Says:

    Dear Sean,
    This is So good. I love the way you have used some awesome similes and a couple of A CARP PIEs. Sean this is so good if I was you I would be proud. Next time you could put capital letters for names.
    From Caitlin.

    Reply

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