Nov
04

Holly 100WC week 7

Filed Under (General News) by on 04-11-2012 and tagged ,

Scared and anxious, I crept into a gloomy, deserted cave.  A shiver climbed up my back. All I could hear was the sea crashing against the rough, rigid rocks. I was at the beach, as it was my birthday. Suddenly, I heard someshig snoring, however I couldn’t see anything, because it was pitch-black. I wanted to get out of the cave, but part of me wanted  to see what this creature was. Fear was paralysing me. I looked closer. All I could see was two red eyes. I quickly ran outside. My heart was racing. I told my  mum, but she didn’t believe me.

Commented on:

47.  Caitlin-Jane Paigemore p7

60 . Sofia   3cm



5 Responses to “Holly 100WC week 7”

  1.   Mrs Duxbury Says:

    Holly, another wonderful piece of writing from you, well done. I am even more impressed that you have remembered to use 2A and BOYS sentences in your writing. Those short sentences really do help to build up the tension and make the reader want to read on even more. I can also see that you have used some ‘A CARP PIE’ – can you list them for me please.
    There is also one word that you have spelt incorrectly….what is it?

    Reply

  2.   CharlotteW Says:

    Holly, I loved your 100 word challenge, but I have upleved it!
    Scared stiff, I crept into a gloomy, deserted cave. A shiver climbed up my back, leaving me cold. All I could hear was the sea crashing against the rough, rigid rocks. Suddenly, I heard something snoring. However, I couldn’t see anything, because it was pitch-black. It felt like a dream. I wanted someone to pinch me to wake up. I wanted to get out of the cave, but part of me wanted to see what this creature was. Fear was paralysed me. I looked closer. All I could see was two red eyes. I quickly ran outside. My heart was racing, pouncing, beating.

    Reply

  3.   kenzie(highlawn) Says:

    Wow Holly I loved your 100 word challenge.I like the way you have used a shiver climbed up my back.You tried really hard.Well done Holly I really enjoyed reading it.

    Kenzie 6d

    Reply

  4.   Lynda (Team100WC) Says:

    This was great writing. I loved the build-up of fear and the phrases you used to create that. I am positive I actually felt my back crawl too. Very well done on your writing this week.

    Reply

  5.   siobhan miller Says:

    Hi Holly, I’m Siobhan from the 100 WC Team.
    wow this is awesome, i love it. keep up the good work for the 100 WC 🙂

    Reply

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