Oct
07

100 Word Challenge – Week 4

Filed Under (General News) by on 07-10-2012 and tagged ,

I have commented on numbers 4 and 80. St Mary’s Shenfield , Miss Davies’classroom’

I was going for a walk, when suddenly  I looked up and saw a huge, scary looking junk monster. It terrified me, it almost looked like it was gong to squash me.  I could see it was made from old TV’s and other household objects; including car lights, a vaccuum cleaner and an old lawn mower.  What could I do? it stomped towards me and stopped right next to me!  The sun light had gone as it towered over me, I was wondering who made it and why.  I wanted to take a picture of it for my friends to see…. 

 



3 Responses to “100 Word Challenge – Week 4”

  1.   Mr Jones Says:

    I loved reading your writing, Daniel. You used some great punctuation and changed your sentence structure well. I also like the fact you made me think by asking a question.

    Reply

  2.   Jennifer Hall (Team 100WC) Says:

    This is really good! The use of different punctuation is great too, especially the semi colon.

    Reply

  3.   Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) Says:

    Hello, Daniel.

    This is an interesting story with a good description of the junk monster. I don’t know whether I would have been as brave had it stomped towards me. Taking a photo would be the last things on my mind. ☺

    By adding the dots at the end, it suggests you had ideas for the continuation of the story. The next part in the plot would be what happens next. Perhaps it sees the camera and poses. Perhaps he picks you up? Leaving people wondering what comes next is a good technique for bringing readers back if you continue the story.

    Have you read the novel, novel The Iron Man by Ted Hughes or watched the animated movie adaptation The Iron Giant ? On seeing the prompt photo, it made think of this story.

    I hope you keep entering the 100WC. ☺

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

    Reply

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