Sep
06

My poem

Filed Under (General News) by on 06-09-2012 and tagged ,

The wind whistled through the emerald green leaves of the tree,

Later on in the afternoon, as I walked in the sweet  smelling meadow, I saw a buzzing bee,

Whilst I was silently dreaming in my cosy, warm bed,

My favourite teddy bear was on the washing line, just hanging by a peg.

 

The next morning,  I bought a rabbit that was  very soft,

I rushed home and made it a bed right up in the loft,

When  I  went out to do some shopping,

I came back and in the garden my rabbit was hopping.

 

 

 



14 Responses to “My poem”

  1.   julia and kenzie Says:

    I love this poem holly the way you used all the adjectives it made me feel as if I was in the setting you discribed. from Julia… I like the way you made it all ryme and the poem was just beatiful and i liked it beACAUSE the poem was just a really calm setting . and it was just a lovley poem I realy enjoyed it . from kenzie

    Reply

  2.   reecee Says:

    I think your poem is really creative which I absolutly love. Mabye try putting the name of the rabbit in next time.

    Reply

  3.   Aamina I Says:

    Wow Holly I like how you used some rhyming words I think you will be 6D`s fantastic poem blogger!

    Reply

  4.   Tegan Says:

    Well done Holly, your poem realy made me feel like I was there listening to the sounds surrounding me. Next time try to make it all be set in the same surroundings instead of going from the woods to your bedroom, eg. if the first sentence is in the woods make the whole poem be set in the woods.

    Reply

  5.   annalesel Says:

    WOW Holly, that pice of writing is amazing I can tell you are good at writing poem’s and you have something to be pround of.

    However I like the way you have used the word sweet smelling meadow, maybe you could say what the meadow smelt of next time, although it is a beautiful poem

    from annalese x

    Reply

  6.   Nathan H Says:

    Wow! Holly that is a fantastic poem and I like the way you have used rhyme. I like the way you used lots of good adjectives such as ’emerald green leaves and the sweet smelling meadow’. Next time, you could use some adverbs like the emerald green leaves swiftly fell from the tree.

    Reply

  7.   Tulsi Says:

    Wow! Holly that is a good peom. We really like the rhym part at the end of each verse was very clear. We really enjoyed the way you put your words together to make them ryhm.

    Reply

  8.   oliviaf Says:

    Wow, Holly that is a brillant peom I love The wind whistled because it is solfed.
    OliviaF

    Reply

  9.   ellies Says:

    WOW! Holly that poem was outstanding; I loved the way you rhymed and how you used alliteration e.g the wind whistled. Next time, why not try to put some more alliteration in your poem, I really enjoyed listening to your poem, well done!

    from Ellie

    Reply

  10.   Kaysha Says:

    Hi Mrs Duxbury! Your new class is amazing at writing! Holly, you have used great VCOP in this beautiful poem. Hope to see you guys soon!

    Reply

  11.   Hollyl Says:

    Thank you for all your comments on my poem. I’m glad you liked it.

    Reply

  12.   oliviag 5b Says:

    Wow holly that is a awsom poem hope you enjoy reading all the fantastic comments!

    Reply

  13.   Katherine Stubbins Says:

    I love your poem it’s great, you’re much better than me at writing them.

    Reply

  14.   tanya lees Says:

    fab work holly carry on trying hard love mum x

    Reply

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